Transcription:Screw Youssical the Musical
(Note: Narrator is in underline. Girls are in bold. Boys are in italic.) * It started to rain at a quarter to two * When the children both cried, "We've got nothing to do!" * They played their ker-plunkers and spun their spin-daddies, * Why, they even found mother's vibrate-a-ratties. * When suddenly, there came a knock at the door. * The boy nudged his sister: "Go get it, you whore!" * She rose from her seat and walked towards the noise. * "Who could it be?" She hoped it was boys. * But what entered the house through the fog oh so thick * Was a Cat in a Hat with an enormous dick. * He sang a short song and played a few toots, * When all of a sudden, he noticed poor Boots. * The boy searched around for a pen and a pad. * "This guy's a pro, much better than dad." * But before the two children could learn a new trade, * The Cat pushed them outside, "I'm trying to get laid!" * So with nowhere to go but over the hill, * The children set off to the town of Whoreville. * They passed a few vagrants, a hooker, a corpse, * Trying their best not to vomit, of course. * Though it got very hard as they passed by a can, * Where a man tried to shit out some Blue Eggs and Spam. * Finally, they arrived at their mom's place of work, * As a jolly old man walked out with a smirk. * It was Itchy McGray, who was there every day, * And though his doctors sure pleaded, he could not stay away. * He had caught whore diseases, he has picked at whore scabs, * Why, he even picked up a case of "whore crabs." * But, all of a sudden, he started to run, * Because the children's drunk father showed up with a gun! * He was mean, he was mad, he was seven feet tall, * But the bulge in his pants was two sizes too small. * Which may have explained why he went on a spree, * Of shooting the whores as they started to flee. * "One bitch, two bitch, old bitch, new bitch!" * He said with a laugh as their bodies did twitch. * He stared at his wife as he squeezed on his GLOCK. * "I know it's your job, but why'd you Hop on my Pop?" * "We needed the cash," she said through her tears, * "And besides, you haven't touched me in years. * But I've got just the thing!" She knew just what to do. * "Let's go home right now and make three kids, not two." * And so, the kids' father got his own way, * And the bulge in his pants grew three sizes that day. * And the low-income family began life anew... * ...at least 'til next month, when the rent would come due. (sketch ends.)Category:Transcriptions